my special thank you...

It's amazing how calming the rain can be. We've had something shy of a typhoon over the past few days or at least that's how it's felt; Yet unless you're outside, feeling the harsh cold rain pelting off of your face and body, you really don't notice. The sound of the thick drops crashing down on the window pane become almost non-existent over a few hours, let alone days.

As I laid in bed last night, not quite at the point of falling asleep, but past the point where you're too tired to carry on a conversation with whom you share your bed, my mind couldn't help but race. Soothed by the rain, wind and the distant sound of the wind chimes in our backyard. Some, I think, strategically placed to give the over all horror movie vibe.

I thought about life in general and the places it can take you. How one day you stop to look around and realize you're either right where you always dreamt of being, or so far off course you don't know what to do with yourself.

I always wanted to be married and a mother by the age of 24. It was ideal for me. Who knew it'd actually come true. Well, I shouldn't say always. Until I met Chris I was never really sure I even wanted to be a mother. It's something special that happens when you meet "the one." I know, so cliche.

When you meet that person who turns your entire life upside down, anything really is possible. I knew then, that he was the one I'd spend my life with and start the family I had grown to realize I truly always wanted. I sit and think about how lucky I am to have everything I've wanted - with the exception of the career I really want - by my age. To be so blessed with great friends and family and to be surrounded by love even on the worst of days. To this I am beyond thankful.

When you get in those moods, and think about everything around you that's good, you can't help but think of the bad also. To be honest, there's really not much bad going on here. I really don't know what I did to deserve this wonderful life, but I realize in the silence of my room, I take it for granted. I should sit back and take it all in more often. I should accept the things I can't change about the people I love, and realize that I love them for who they already are, so why change things. I should put aside the strong feelings of dislike I hold inside for a certain person, because she's never going to change. She will always be the conniving, deceitful woman I know her as today - so why fill myself up with rage, when I can just continue laughing it off. I should tell the people who matter, that they matter, a lot more often than I do. And I should stop clinging to past friendships that, in all honesty, are better off being left in the past.

This blog started off as me looking to type out what's in my head. It's ending as a special thank you to everyone who has touched my life - good or bad. It's said all the time by many people, but if it weren't for you, I really wouldn't be the person I am today. I am so blessed to have you all in my life.