When do friends grow apart? How does it happen between two people who, if outsiders didn’t know any better, were the same person? When do you stop and realize that you don’t see their name in your call log and no texts in the inbox?
It’s funny how convenient our everyday routine is, when it comes to excuses. Unless you have a 9 – 5 job, the “Sorry, I gotta work” becomes your life line to getting out of any plans. Something you wouldn’t mind doing because it’d be great to see them, but really in all honesty have got a ton of other things, more important you could be spending your time on. When you do have that 9 – 5 job, you have a little more thinking to do for a reason you can’t make it but sure enough find it the moment it’s needed.
You realize 6 weeks down the road that you haven’t spoken to this person in a while. You make plans to call them later but you usually never do. You look back and realize at some point in life – I had more than enough options of something to do on a Saturday night. Now you’re lucky if more than one person wants to come sit in your living room to watch whatever game is on.
That’s what getting older does to you. Not that I’m saying I’m old or getting “old.” I’m 24 for god sake. But in the 6 years it’s been since high school, my life has changed dramatically. Aside from my husband and son of course. I have a career – may not be one that I want but I have it regardless – I have my very close friends that I talk to almost daily, if not every other. I have my family who I am lucky enough to be very close with, and I have my dog. I pay my own bills, take care of my own family – I live the life I’ve have always wanted – and it’s a life I couldn’t be happier with.
Somewhere along my time growing up, I’ve lost friends who at one point mattered so much to me. I still care for their wellbeing, of course. But do I even consider picking up the phone to say hi? I probably don’t even have their number anymore anyways. Some friends have been lost for bigger reasons than just losing touch. We all go through the trials and tribulations. Some friendships make it out a little tattered and bruised. Some beaten a little worse, but still hanging on. None make it out untouched.
In some way or another – good or bad – everyone has affected you. They’ve affected a decision you once made, a night you can’t really remember or the argument that tore you apart. Some, it’s better to have lost. Some, you wish you could go back to. I sit here, writing this and pick up my phone. I go through my recent calls and text messages and can’t help but sigh.
A sigh of relief.
Everyone who matters is there. Everyone who doesn’t – well I suppose I could call 411 if I really needed to find them anyways…
It happens more often than you think. Sometimes even with friends you never expected or imagined if possibly could happen with.
ReplyDeleteAnd then you find people who come into your life new, and they matter and stay and you are amazed.
Being adult is a persnickity thing.